Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
