he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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