Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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