you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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