Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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