So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
