Buhtt sex?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize