I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
