oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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