you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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