the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
