roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
