Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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