I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize