what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
