ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Your cock deserves a montage
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
MIDGETS
????
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I want a musical about memes.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize