glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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