i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
