I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
