I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
high people should be assigned attendants
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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