I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
