One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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