i don't plan on having that self control this summer
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
