party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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