So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
