I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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