This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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