Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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