Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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