And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
