Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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