Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize