If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
