She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
