Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
