I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
