Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
