What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
