U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
