the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
They have beer where we have blood.
I just gargled with NyQuil
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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