I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
