so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
