After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
