You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
