You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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