he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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