Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
