Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
