I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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