Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
