2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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