i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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