Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
