idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
