He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
