that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
