I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
