Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
