i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
