Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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