Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
