brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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