I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
