I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
