How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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