I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
there was a trapeze. enough said
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
