You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Watching her eat just hurts me
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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