I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
