What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
