i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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